On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Help me help you realize you are a moron
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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