i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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