I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
