the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
