I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
My bed is full of blood and feathers
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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