I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
