It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I'm at about main and main street
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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