i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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