Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
