please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
This is my gift to your gina
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
