....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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