Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
