this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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