Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
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