I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Are we still banned from the library?
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
