how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
