i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Randomize
