too bad you live with your parents still
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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