Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
