I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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