the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
