You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
