just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
