I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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