i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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