Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
