omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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