Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
