I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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