Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
