I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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