Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
