I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
