That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
