and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
