take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Of course I have a pirate flag
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
