Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
