You surviving the open bar?
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I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
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