Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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