Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
