if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I have aggressive nipples.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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