'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
