My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
