I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
