and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
