everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
