So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
