Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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