Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
