Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
